Kristen over at We Are That Family had the great idea for this last WFMW of the year. She challenged us to link up the one post we wrote this year that we really want people to read. I was struggling. I knew what post I wanted to share, but the reason I wanted to share was as important as the post itself. Then, I saw that Jill over at Diaper Diaries republished a post (and a mighty good one I might add) from earlier in the year with context around it. PERFECT! So, I’m totally stealing her idea.
The post below TOTALLY CHANGED MY LIFE. I think it lengthened it too. I cried when I wrote this post. I really did. It might have been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Truly. However, I am SO THANKFUL that I wrote it.
This post was originally published on February 26th.
This is a big one for me. HUGE!! I’m publicly announcing that I need to lose some weight. Now, anyone who has seen me, seen a picture of me, or even talked about me in the last… ummm… 30 years knows this. That’s not to say that I’ve been this weight for the last 30 years (that would be extremely frightening). However, since my parents’ divorce when I was eight, food has been my solace. And, no I’m not blaming you mom. It’s just a fact. Third grade I was relatively normal. Fourth grade I was chubby. There you go.
There have been two times since I was eight that I have been what would be considered a normal or close to normal weight. My senior year in high school when I survived on Diet Coke and NoDoze (remember NoDoze?). I can remember a time when I only took cat naps for three days straight because I had two AP papers due, was rehearsing for a play, and had drill team practice every day to get ready for homecoming. No, my mom didn’t know about that (I was sneaky) and NO, it wasn’t healthy. So, even though I was thinner then, I wasn’t exactly healthy.
The second time I was thinner, I did “Quick Weight Loss.” It worked, I lost it quick!! And then had to have my gall bladder removed. People, you can’t go from mega grams of fat per day to 0 grams of fat per day overnight and expect your body to have no problem with it!! I also couldn’t eat chicken for a year (literally – no lie – a year) after that because I ate so much chicken while on it. The amount of protein they want you to eat is insane! And, I don’t like fish – not helpful.
I’ve done Weight Watchers – TOTALLY WORKS – when you stick to it. I’ve tried other things too. Here’s what I think is my biggest problem. I have NEVER been happy when I’m thinner. NEVER. Both the times when I was almost normal – not happy at ALL. For a multitude of reasons that may or may not have had to do with how I looked. So, I’d rather be chubby and happy than thin and not happy. Seems logical to me.
However, now I’m realizing how UNHEALTHY I am. And, I think I’ve actually passed the chubby point. I’m now in the obese category. The clothes I wear MUST have a W at the end of the size to fit my hips. I’m really tired by the end of the day. And, I’m worried that I someday soon won’t be able to keep up with my family. Here’s the other thing. I have Crohn’s disease. It’s not a fun disease to have as it messes with your digestive system. It’s very sensitive to different types of foods (which actually vary by person). When I eat crap, my body is NOT happy with me – to the point of pain.
So, after consuming an entire sleeve of Thin Mints and several pieces of pizza tonight, I went to my Google Reader to see how my bloggy friends (well, I think they’re friends – they may or may not know me) were doing. MANY of those I read are doing the LOSING IT! challenge. It was humbling to see how these women are sharing their stories with the blog world, and they are all really trying to lose that weight!! They’re not trying to lose weight to look better – not one of them said that. They are all trying to lose weight to be healthier. To be better moms. To be better wives. To be able to stick around longer with their families and actually keep up with the kids.
It was VERY convicting to me. It was as if God said “Um, you see them doing it don’t you. They’re moms with real lives just like you. They don’t have personal trainers. You can do it too.” God talks to me like my best friend sometimes. So, here I am (almost in tears actually) telling you (whoever you are that reads this here blog) that I’m going to commit to doing the LOSING IT! challenge for the next nine weeks.
Here are my goals:
1. 8 glasses of water a day (and ONLY water to drink)
2. One sweet treat a day (I know myself. If I go cold turkey, it’s worse.)
3. Nothing deep fried (I live in the south, this is hard)
4. Exercise of some kind 4 out of 7 days (OK – this is HUGE. I NEVER exercise.)
Okay, I’m about to press “Publish,” and then this will be out there. I’m SO nervous. But, I know I’m really being led to do it, and He’s never led me wrong before.
If you want to know more about the LOSING IT! challenge go here. Do it with me! I’d love to cheer you on!!
I didn’t win the challenge, but I came in second. I’ve lost 28 pounds since the day I pushed publish on that post, and most importantly I’ve kept them off for several months. As we go into the new year, I plan on refocusing myself and losing another 28 at least.
So, this was my post of the year. A huge shout out and THANK YOU to the original Losing It Ladies and to those who continue to link up here each Friday. You have truly changed my life.